kisses for yo face
i couldn’t say no to my aunt. i’ve gotten kinda good at saying no to people, and i couldn’t say no to her. i was telling her that i’m in a stuffed/anti-social mood, and she offered me whiskey shots, and then i somehow i agreed to go. i’m not even upset. i’m gonna go and i’m gonna be nice about it. what is happening
ah this is my life right now. i totally get you. and it’s so weird. i’m just trying to be patient and do what i can. but not knowing for how this will go on is kinda crazy and terrifying sometimes.
yea and like this has been life for almost 3yrs… i know my experience may make me seem over the place but when i break it down it makes sense to my journey but its like “WHY WONT SOMEONE TAKE A CHANCE ON ME?!” (a paid chance)… Jesus be your/our support system! and im a little sad cause this place was so interesting and exciting and i could actually see myself working there, with children and giving workshops about cameras and animations and technology and it just feels like a big ol’ “Nope”
that’s exactly how i feel. it’s so discouraging not getting those jobs that seem so interesting and fitting. i also have random experience, but i do think it ties together. and all this time wanting this and waiting has actually made me look forward to waking up early and doing the work thing. like i actually have all this pent up energy, and i’m dying to use in my work thing. i keep myself busy with projects, but i think that having things that are outside of myself (and gimme money) would be really good for me right now. so hell yeah, i think we need to get the chance soon. i demand it
Okay, so: magic Stiles, right. Stiles training to become Scott’s emissary. The crux here is that Scott got bitten but Derek never showed up in Beacon Hills— I’m not exactly sure about the details, WHATEVER, the point is, Deaton is currently teaching Stiles about diversion spells. Y’know, projecting visual illusions, altering someone’s perception of reality, that sort of thing. It’s all pretty bad-ass in theory but there’s a lot of sketchy powder involved and the main component is belief, something Stiles still rolls his eyes at because he personally prefers things to be a little more sciencey, but whatever. He practiced all afternoon and Deaton seemed pleased, told him he seems to really have a knack for these types of spells.
When Stiles gets home he’s still covered in sketchy powder and there’s pressure building behind his eyes, so he figures he’s earned himself a nice long shower and a good jerk-off session. His head’s still aching so instead of putting on porn he conjures up his favorite jerk-off fantasy. He comes hard enough to make his toes curl and sleeps like a log afterward.
The next day is a Saturday, so he goes to the clinic for his morning Herbology class with Deaton and walks straight into a fucking wall because—
“Stiles,” Deaton says. “This is Derek.”
His jerk-off fantasy is standing in the room.
It’s him. It’s definitely him. It’s 100% for sure definitely him, down to the dark hair and the bright eyes and the leather jacket and the perfect stubble and the muscled arms that could hold you up for hours as he pounded into you, rock hard, grunting, sweat pouring down his chiseled body—
Stiles’ jerk-off fantasy is standing in the room.
I have been in high school for nearly four years and I still can’t get used to the fact that people don’t raise their hands in class?!
I had this professor that made us bring donuts for the entire class if we raised our hands three times during one class meeting. She was awesome. On the first day of class she talked about how we had been socialized for 12 years to face a figure of authority and raise our hands in class. How what we learned during class was controlled by someone else. She wanted us to take charge of our own eduacation. She gave us full control over the syllabus, and we never sat facing her in class nor raised our hands. We arranged the desks in a circle and had discussions. One of my fave professors.
be nice to plants. pet grass. dont step on bugs. feed birds. give water to flowers. don’t hurt bees. tell trees they are cute and confident. tell yourself you are cute and confident. help people. be nice to the earth.