Oh, I loved the finale. And of course, I’m feeling a bunch of things. Oh my heart indeed. 

• Rainy sundays are my favorite.
• Right now I’m really content (bed/rain/sunday/music/fics/nothing that is due/yes yes yes
• I was thinking if/how different my days would go if I got enough sleep and became a morning person. By morning person I mean be awake and aware enough to take in the morning stillness. I probably still will not want to talk much. 
• But I also really like the nighttime feels. Can I have both? I’ll sleep in the afternoon. Afternoons are okay, and sometimes the way the sun hits things when its setting makes me sad. 
• I can’t believe I start school in two weeks. 
• I’m ready for food. 
• Oh, I can hear the Bronx parade. They are parading in the rain and thats just beautiful. I’d probably explode with feels if I was there. I’ll send some love from here. BX, yo.
• I want some cuddles.

I like how the world slows down when it rains. I like that it makes me reach for warmth and comfort, and I like that songs become more intricate and beautiful. And I really love it when rain grazes my skin. It makes me feel very close to the magic and genius of the Universe. 

Jordan Catalano is such a tool. And I’m sure at some point I’ve been crazy about guy like him. A guy that seemed so cool and aloof, but wasn’t very interesting, and yet I didn’t see it because the whole thing was based on an idea, this thing that provided possibility and excitement, things I wanted my life to have. So the silly things he did didn’t get as recognized, because the fantasy of him and ‘it’ was big, and the excitement made it feel like something was happening. Isn’t that crazy, that I used to think I liked people that I actually didn’t know? I just saw them from afar, a safe distance, and I’d imagine a connection that was based on eye contact, grazed arms, and the occasional ‘excuse me’. The whole thing now feels really strange.

There are so many layers and dimensions to self-love, and I keep learning new ones. Lately I’ve been seeing new sides to things, and I’ve really appreciated becoming aware of ideas and concepts that I hadn’t realized or considered before. I like how life opens up when new perceptions start growing. Thank you, darling Universe. 

sarahroseee darling, you are wonderful for asking and thank you :)

I just updated my goals list and something about narrowing things down feels really good. I read something recently in Anodea Judith’s Wheel of Lights that talked about limitations being a positive thing for manifesting and getting things done. For a while I’ve struggled with completing personal/creative projects, and a lot has been from the overwhelming sense of possibility in which I look at my personal goals. I love connections, and while it is a wonderful thing to see and incorporate, I haven’t gotten much done that I wanted to because I’ve been too scattered during the planning stage. Seeing limitations as an opportunity to work with what I have right now is really refreshing and helpful for me. Now I get to pick one thing (zine, yo!), and make it happen with the resources, time, and material that I have access to right now. And when I have that baby in my hands, it will be so sweet. And rather than anticipating the next thing I “should” do, I’ll wait to see what the insides need, and where the creative/expressive energies take me.